For the time being, we have decided Silas is best off at home with me. Regardless of what our SW said (I do really respect her opinion and she is a wonderful Christian woman), I am his mom and feel like I know what is best for my son. I've prayed about it and feel like we are making the right decision. In a few months he might need something different, but for now he needs to be with his family and his momma.
I do work every Monday and he is with our great sitter. She also comes on Wednesdays so I can have a few hours to run errands, etc. He is not with me 24/7. He knows I leave and come back. I have a few hours a week child free to maintain my sanity. I think by next fall he will be ready for preschool a few mornings a week and I will be ready for him to go. Right now my goal is to make him feel secure & loved, provide the therapies he needs, and to continue to work on his behavior and shape his strong will!
After talking to my friend Tracy today, I really feel like I'm doing the right thing - thanks Tracy! Her son and Silas are from the same orphanage and we traveled to China together. She has adopted twice and helped me to evaluate what he really needs this first year and I can provide all of that at home. He will have years in school, but for now needs to learn how to live in a family and have siblings and a mom and dad. I think it would be a lot easier for me if I sent him to daycare. He is a challenging child, but God called us to this adoption and instead of taking the easy road, I want to take the path that is best for our son, whatever that may be. Thanks for your prayers and advice. I am thankful for this blog and the connections we have through it!
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5 comments:
Congrats on your decision! I have just been catching up on your last few posts and must say I am quite surprised at what your social worker was saying. Not saying that our choice is the best for everyone, but I am glad you chose to what you fely eas right in your heart!
hugs!
I'm so glad you were able to come to a decision. I know you guys really prayed about it and are going with what you feel God leading you to do. I understand the stubborn-willed child part all too well! You may want to pull your hair out at times, but I feel confident you will never regret the extra time spent with him now, as all too soon he'll be in school and you'll wonder where the time went.
I was pretty sure that's the way you would go. We, too, have sought advice from Tracy when Jen and Lily were initially struggling to bond. It's great to have wise friends who can give wise counsel.
Jason And Cara, If you can keep Silas with you at home that's great. Silas needs his Mother and Father.Sylvia
I second Jill's motion-- congrats on your decision! I know this must have been incredibly tough, but I also know that your prayerfully made it, adn you can't go wrong there...God will honor your choice to put Him first when making the choice you did. In the end, YOU know your child better than anyone...even a social worker. :) I'm of the opinion that this issue isn't entirely black and white, and there isn't one single choice that is best for everybody....but I too am glad your decision was blased on what feels right in your soul. Silas is SUCH a blessed little boy!!!!
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