Attachment

Yesterday Jason and I went for our first attachment counseling appointment. I have decided to share some information about our attachment journey on our blog because I think there are a lot of other adoptive families out there dealing with some of the same issues we are.

Silas has some control issues that are becoming more apparent each day. As I am viewing his behavior differently, I am seeing more areas in which he is manipulating and controlling our family. Most people I talk to say, "he's a boy" or "he's two". Yes, those things are both true, but in my heart I knew there was a deeper issue going on. After describing Silas' behavior to our therapist, she said she would diagnose him with RAD (reactive attachment disorder).

I feel like we are starting over from day one with him. Our assignments for the next couple of weeks are to play peek-a-boo a lot. We are trying to increase positive eye contact with him. Also, we are to not raise our voices at him and are to remain calm at all times. (This one will be hard!) I have done pretty well, but it is really hard to be calm when he knows exactly what to do to push my buttons. Due to some other issues the therapist thinks he may have, I'm going to start to stay in the room with him when he is in time out. I did this at the beginning but stopped after several months. Again, this is hard, because usually when his is in time out I am calming myself down so I can deal with him.

I'll update on our attachment journey from time to time. We are planning on seeing the therapist every couple of weeks. Silas will be going along for our next appointment. He is a charmer though, so I'm sure she will not see what we see at home. Thankfully she is an experienced attachment therapist and has been there and done that!